THE IN-TRAY

What does your dating profile say about your beauty picks? We’re taking a guess

LOOKING FEU DE BOIS? FROM MAKEUP TO MAKE-OUT, WE’RE GETTING REAL ON THE CLICHÉD DATING PROFILES WE LOW-KEY LOVE.

February rolls around and the world seems to forget the single amongst us, who, come this month once reserved for the loved-up, find themselves swiping through hundreds of potential suitors, hoping to find a flame on Tinder, a honey on Bumble, or a lifelong connection on Hinge (or whatever else on the plethora of matchmaking apps out there). Now—we’re no high-tech trend forecasters—but when it comes to the dating profiles of the masses, there are some clear (and at times hilarious) profile clichés that even a slew of us at MECCA HQ fall into. To help you in love and life at this crucial time, we’re prescribing your perfect beauty, according to your dating profile archetype.

THE PLANT “MOM”

You want to prove that you’re a semi-responsible adult living in a trendy city-fringe area, and it shows. You’re the momager of a curation of monsteras, fiddle leaf fig trees and bonsais (all of which have names once reserved only for humans), and your written bio mentions something about being able to keep your houseplant alive. If that isn’t a turn on—and a sign of capable parenting—then we don’t know what is. Keep the horticultural love alive with a skincare stash stocked with our favourite botanic and apothecary-style brands—namely Kiehl’s, Clark ’s Botanicals and Kat Burki—which will nourish your skin with the same love and affection you do your plants. Assuming you might take pride in your home, we have no doubt you’d be a fan of a homely candle, too; our earthy favourites including Byredo’s Tree House, Boy Smells’ Kush and Diptyque’s Feu De Bois (the latter of which both myself and John Mayer thought was called ‘for the boys’ due to its masculine-leaning scent, which, in this case, is actually quite fitting).

THE SERIAL GROUP SHOTTER

Let’s be real: you’re not doing yourself any favours. Your entire gallery features squad photos of you and your six best friends, who, like many, have started to turn into different versions of one another, making it difficult for your potential love interest to identify which one of the six you actually are. It’s all about choosing your best photos to strike a match, and hey; you can’t help that your crew bring out the best in you! That, and you didn’t have the heart to crop them out. Or maybe it’s all intentional: you know that identifying you is going to be hard work, but that’s a quality you want in a life partner (and your beauty). Naturally, you’re going to be drawn to hardworking, multi-tasking duos that sit side-by-side to get things done; think Mecca Cosmetica’s Hydra Cheek Tint And Illuminating Balm Duos, Kosas’ Colour & Light Creme Palettes, and the brand new MECCA MAX Dream Queen Palette, a one-stop palette for your entire face.

THE PUPPY LOVER

You’re sucked in by the easiest trick in the book—a dog photo—but play the game yourself with an impressive (and effective) gallery of pooch pics. Whether it’s your dog—or your cousin’s friend’s sister’s—you know that a cute snap of you and a furry friend will nab you a match that’s sensitive, playful, and likely to co-adopt one of your very own five years down the track (no judgement, we’re all about thinking ahead). With a love for pets, we know our vegan brands will have a special place in your heart (read: Drunk Elephant, MECCA MAX, Too Faced, bareMinerals and many more), and probably have a gentle, low-maintenance routine. Fill your kit with easy-to-wear tinted moisturisers like NARS’ Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturiser or Chantecaille’s Just Skin, a bestselling lip balm, and a reliable mascara. We can only assume you have a playful nature yourself, so fill your skincare shelf with equally as fun wonders from Glow Recipe.

READ MORE: What your favourite ‘little women’ sister says about your skincare

THE NETFLIX & CHILLER

You—and just about every other swiper in your dating app-archetype—love Brooklyn 99 and The Office and will endeavour to quote them at any given chance. Sure, some may say that liking a TV-comedy isn’t a personality trait, but deep down you believe that letting your future life partner know how laidback and frankly, hilarious, you are is critical – especially in their first impression. You’re looking for someone to keep the couch warm with you, after all. Unashamed of your streaming habits, you won’t turn down the beauty making your weekend binge that little bit sweeter, so bring on the masks (mud, sheet or cream, you don’t discriminate), a rose quartz roller, and a dark-circle-saving eye cream to reverse the visible signs of the ‘just one more episode’ effect.

THE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL

You can sniff out a festival from a mile away (in fact, you probably sorted out your Dolls Kill/Tibbs and Bones outfit six months prior) and have that carefree-yet-alluringly-wise aura that people just flock to. Your life mission is to live your best life, with your best mates, and nothing will stop you from doing just that. In any social situation a film camera is never far, and your profile proves that, filled with candid, lo-fi snaps of you either with a group of aptly-clad friends, in a field of daisies, or with a waterfall/forest/ferris wheel in the background. Your music taste wavers from house, to chill lo-fi beats, to disco, and your Spotify-connected profile makes that known to your fellow swipers. Truly effortless, you require products that reflect your laidback, cool-girl sensibilities: enter Drunk Elephant Pekee Bar, Kosas Tinted Face Oil, and RMS Lip2Cheek. When it comes to hair it’s got to be flowy and undone, making you the perfect candidate for Hair by Sam McKnight’s Cool Girl Barely There Texture Mist.

THE ENGLISH BACKPACKER

Maybe you’re here to start ticking off your bucket list (…see a koala up-close, venture along the Great Ocean Road, try Vegemite and declare its inferiority to Marmite…) or maybe, you’re on a mission to find an Australian husband of the Hemsworth-variety, eventually settling down to live out your suburban, Neighbours-inspired dreams. Either way, there’s nothing like a holiday fling and you’re down for it, updating your dating profile along your journey with snaps of you climbing the Harbour Bridge, picnicking outside the Brighton Beach houses, and showing off your winning grin alongside a photogenic quokka. Leaving your bathroom-full of beauty at home was hard to say the least, but packing light was the goal (and your only option). For the travelling lovers, keep fresh on the go with Merci Handy’s Namaste Deodorant and Chill Out Refreshing Face Mist, stay hydrated and glowy with Drunk Elephant’s Out Of Office kit, and always keep a travel-sized SPF in reach for regular reapplications (the English sun ain’t got nothing on the strength of our beaming rays).

THE BIKINI BABE

There’s absolutely no shame in the fact that your profile is littered with snaps of you in your bikini—one at your local pool, another lounged across a day bed in Bali, and maybe even a coy mirror selfie before you threw on your cover-up and wide-brimmed hat. Your body is a temple, after all, and you should enjoy every single bit of it. For the single pringle serving body (and wave emojis in your bio), your true beauty match is a healthy coating of Mecca Cosmetica’s To Save Body SPF 50+ all over your limbs, which have previously marinated in an Isle of Paradise mousse for a totally non-orange glow that still looks like you, but feels even better. We have no doubt that you’d continue to embrace the body love post-sun, so reach for Sol De Janeiro’s famous Brazilian Bum Bum Cream, and keep the beach hair going all year round with your favourite salt spray.

READ MORE: An astrologer on the 2 products your sign needs for the best year ahead

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